Counselling & Psychotherapy
I work in the Humanistic and Integrative schools of psychotherapy and counselling which means that the fundamental concept embraces the view that we are all born with a basic drive for health, growth and a need for loving recognition. Humanistic therapy encompasses the cognitive, behavioural and emotional aspects of being human.
The pressure to achieve is often measured by external evaluation such as a well paid job, marriage, children, a car and home ownership. Failure to meet these expectations can trigger anxiety, depression and more complex patterns of behaviour. If we have unresolved issues from the past, such as abuse, low self-esteem, lack of social and interpersonal skills, then we may possibly lack the ability to self-regulate or self-reflect. We may then compensate by performing more and more activities in a driven way in order to gain a sense of achievement and therefore feel good about ourselves.
At the other end of this polarity is “avoidance” which we may often disguise as being “laid back” or by use of false “positive thinking.” These activities can sometimes represent an attempt to avoid painful feelings, difficult conversations, or by putting off difficult decision-making and, by doing so, excusing ourselves from responsibility and commitment.
Many of us have learnt to be out of contact with and have disdain for our bodies, and so remain unaware of our bodily sensations, our emotions and feelings of fatigue, hunger or thirst. Consequently we are unable to recognise these bodily sensations as a vital barometer and guide to greater health. This is because we are conditioned to believe that it is only through our cognitive mind that we may control and make important changes to our life.
If we cannot truly connect with the whole of ourselves, then how can we meaningfully connect with others?
Most of us have areas of our life where we feel reasonably confident and effective. However, from time to time, we may experience a personal crisis or period of stress and in which we then become trapped in unhelpful ways of thinking. I work in the ‘here and now’ in order to help you understand yourself and your patterns of behaviour. Then, together, we can find more creative ways for you to resolve the problem or live life to your greater potential. One of our greatest sufferings is that we reject the “NOW” aspect of our life and so reject ourselves.